joelnielsen.com



I make music and video games
and own a virtual fleet of luxary submarines. (Help me pay for them)

Give Me Your Money

Why?
Any option below will suffice:

  • You thought the Black Mesa Soundtrack was horrible, but decades of wasted years should be worth something.
  • Showering is useless and expensive. Giving money to me would be as well, but you could leave your clothes on.
  • You don't currently have any friends, but for the right price, I will consider it.
  • You cannot stand to live in a world in which I do not own a yacht, or luxury submarine.
  • Investments in stocks or real estate result in higher losses than simply giving your cash to me.

So what do I get in return for giving you money?

Absolutely nothing, other than the satisfaction of knowing I will never be forced to sell myself on a street corner.


So you seriously think I'm going to give you something for nothing?

Lets be honest, would sending money to starving Antarctic children, really be any different?


Well, it sounds as though you've missed a few therapy sessions, but you make some interesting points. How do I relinquish my money?

You'll figure it out.










Copyright 2025 Joel Nielsen